Short answer: Boys tend to bully physically and in plain sight. Girls weaponise words, exclusion and group chats, and they overwhelmingly target other girls. In India, where over 50% of school students face bullying, spotting both styles early is what changes outcomes.
Bullying haunts school corridors, playgrounds and, increasingly, the screens kids carry home. In India, more than 50% of school students reportedly face some form of bullying, and how that aggression shows up is shaped heavily by gender, culture and what society quietly expects. Both boys and girls bully. Both get bullied. The how is where they part ways.
Understanding these patterns isn’t stereotyping. It’s the difference between catching the problem early and missing it entirely. Here are three real differences in how boys and girls bully, especially in the Indian classrooms of 2025.
1. Physical vs. psychological warfare
Boys lean toward the visible. Girls prefer the invisible.
In many Indian schools, it’s common to hear about boys pushing, punching, or threatening classmates out in the open. Physical dominance still gets bound up with masculinity. A Class 8 student from Delhi put it bluntly in a workshop, “If you don’t fight back, they’ll say you’re not a man.” That sentence does a lot of work.
Girls are likelier to wield words like weapons. Verbal taunts, backbiting, exclusion from friend circles, indirect shaming around appearance, relationships, marks, all common. Quiet cruelty. But it cuts. A 14-year-old from Bengaluru confided, “I’d rather be slapped than be cut off from my best friend group.”
The result? Boys’ bullying gets noticed and punished. Girls’ tactics fly under the radar, and adults often don’t know there’s anything to step into.
2. Open vs. secretive behaviour
Boys often bully publicly. Girls do it behind closed doors, or screens.
Indian schools, especially co-ed ones, see a clear split. Boys act out in plain view, playground brawls, classroom disruptions, taunts shouted across a room. Teachers can flag and stop most of it.
Girls? More covert. The cruelty hides inside sarcasm, gets dressed up as “jokes”, or migrates to WhatsApp groups and anonymous Instagram handles where adults rarely look. According to a 2023 Childline India study, girls are 1.7 times more likely than boys to engage in cyberbullying, often targeting other girls.
Social media has become a brutally efficient tool. It lets girls hurt without confrontation. And it lets the bullying continue long after the school bell, well past the moment any teacher could intervene.
3. Who they bully
Boys target anyone. Girls usually stick to other girls.
Boys will target both genders. Girls almost always direct their aggression toward other girls, fuelled by competition for attention, friendships, validation, popularity. A Class 9 girl from Lucknow described it sharply, “If another girl starts getting noticed, the group will turn cold toward her. It’s like we’re in a silent war for space.”
This gets especially brutal in India, where pressure around beauty, marks and “good behaviour” is intense. And because physical aggression is discouraged in girls, the bullying gets re-routed, emotional manipulation, passive-aggression, slow exclusion.
Why does this matter? Spotting patterns to act early
Recognising these differences isn’t about boxing kids into roles. It’s about helping them out of harmful ones. Bullying typically peaks between ages 9 and 13 in India, right around the jump from primary to secondary school. Left alone, it can spiral, sexual harassment, dating abuse, lasting mental health issues.
So what can the adults around these kids actually do?
Rethink gender norms
We expect boys to be “tough” and girls to be “nice.” That conditioning teaches boys to normalise violence and girls to weaponise silence. Kids need to hear that assertiveness isn’t aggression, and kindness isn’t weakness, repeatedly, from people they trust.
Start conversations early
From preschool to Class 12, emotional literacy belongs in the curriculum. Children need words to name what they feel, recognise abuse, and ask for help. The CBSE’s Manodarpan initiative is a step in the right direction, but more grassroots-level work is needed to make it stick.
Clarify the line between friends and acquaintances
Children get told, “Be friends with everyone.” But that’s unrealistic. The real lesson is sharper: “You don’t have to be close to everyone, but you must treat everyone with respect.” Teach that, and you cut a sizeable chunk of the passive-aggressive bullying that runs through girls’ friend groups.
Time to break the silence
Bullying isn’t “kids being kids.” It’s a formative experience that can scar, or shape, a child’s emotional health for years. Once you understand how boys and girls bully differently, you can intervene more wisely, support more compassionately, and educate more effectively.
Let 2025 be the year we stop whispering about bullying and start talking, honestly, openly, often. Every child, boy or girl, deserves to grow up feeling safe, seen and heard.
FAQs about how boys and girls bully
Why is girls’ bullying harder for teachers to detect?
Because it’s largely verbal, social and digital. Exclusion from a friend group, sarcastic “jokes”, or a coordinated WhatsApp pile-on leaves no bruise. Teachers usually only see the result, a withdrawn student, dropping marks, sudden absences, after the damage is well underway.
At what age does bullying peak in India?
Bullying typically peaks between ages 9 and 13, especially during the transition from primary to secondary school. This is the window where intervention has the biggest payoff.
Are girls more likely than boys to cyberbully?
Yes. A 2023 Childline India study found girls are 1.7 times more likely than boys to engage in cyberbullying, and they overwhelmingly target other girls.
How can parents tell if their child is being bullied at school?
Watch for shifts: a sudden drop in marks, reluctance to go to school, changed sleep or eating, withdrawing from a long-standing friend group, or a sharp uptick in phone secrecy. None of these alone confirm bullying. Together, they warrant a calm, open conversation, not an interrogation.
